Dialog vs Debate

In debate, we seek to win. In dialog, or discussion, we seek to understand.

If we leave a discussion asking ourself, "how can they even think that?" (It's happened to me often enough--it probably happens to all of us.) That means we have lost the discussion; we have not understood what our "opponent" was saying.

In discussion, we should seek to understand each others point of view. Each of us is seeking to recognize truth, and we find nuggets here and there. Somewhere, maybe down deep, we have found a truth which is different from someone who disagrees with us, and that has led us down a different path of discovery from someone else. When we follow those paths back to the points of departure, we seldom convince anyone to change their mind, but we always gain a deeper and richer understanding of our own truth.